Mani Matterz, aka Imani Christina, is a young creatrix and magick-maker located in Philadelphia, PA. She's spent the last several years dedicated to not only her spiritual and creative work, but on discovering the best way to spark freedom in the people around her. As a Stellium Aquarius, she's always trying to rebel against the current culture, shake it up, so that a brighter one can be reborn. This collective is part of that dream.
By tapping into the minds of those around her and bringing her own experiences to the table, Imani hopes to bring new perspectives to her peers who may not feel like they have options other than the ones the people around them have presented.
Who Are You Really?
Who Are You Now?
I've known my response to many questions in my life, and "who are you" was never one of them.
I could tell you who I was...
I could tell you that I used to be a young girl, so overcome with depression and anxiety that she could barely see two inches into her future. I used to be the ghost of a person who wanted more than anything to disappear back into nothingness, though I feared death like no other. Even more than I feared God. I could tell you I used to be a serial-cutter and I have the countless scars as a reminder. That I spent years hearing violent voices in my head and saw shadows dancing across walls when I was really young. That I was in therapy from before my teenage years all the way until I left for college.
But then you'd think I was crazy.
I could tell you that I was a small adolescent, dealing with abuse both at home and in the outside world. When my head wasn't getting slammed into lockers, it was getting smacked by my parent. I used to wonder if it love meant hurting too. I could tell you, I wanted more than nothing but to be accepted but something about the way I looked made people think I wasn't worthy enough. I could tell you I started to believe them after awhile. I used to be the kind of girl who took a beating because I thought I deserved it, even when I didn't.
But then you'd start to feel bad for me.
I could tell you that I used to be a teenage girl, chasing love so hard that every time I ran into it it was like smacking into a poll. I could tell you that I hadn't spent more than two months in the last 7 years being single. I used to spend so much time working my hardest for others without once considering myself. I could tell you that most of my evenings during that time were spent crying or in some existential chaos because either God hated me or everyone around me did and I wasn't sure which was worse at the time. I was a Christian girl, raised in my Christian grandparents' home, and with every coming day I turned away from my faith. I could tell you I was a girl who wanted love but didn't think she deserved it, not even from the Creator.
But that's high school.
I could tell you that I was an intelligent kid who started college at 17 and found herself no longer the smartest person around. In fact, with all the outside stuff going on, how was I ever going to worry about school. I could tell you how I went from being an honor roll student to failing my first college class. I could tell you how much I hated being there, though I loved to learn, and that dissonance was enough to make me stay. I used to be the kind of person who did everything that was expected of them, even when it didn't feel the best. I could tell you that I ended up in the hospital of my college town twice, for attempts to end my life. I could tell you I didn't know what I was doing there even though I stayed.
But then you'd say I was lost.
Now? I still don't really know the answer, and don't think I ever will, but if I had to sum it up, I'd tell you that now I am a sensitive soul trying to navigate my way through this strange place in this strange vessel.
I am a creator and an artist. Even when I had nothing, I could always make something.
I am a survivor. I've been through countless traumas which I hope to help others heal from. Traumas that I hope to prevent for future generations.
I am a unique, fluid, chaotic being. My stellium is in Aquarius and I be stunting like my daddies (Uranus & Saturn). My human design indicates my karma as transpersonal. I'm not here to fit in or to make anyone comfortable. I'm here be an earthquake.
I am a witch, magic-maker, priestess, and mystic. I've believed in magic since I was a youngboul (child) and found out is was real in my late teenage years. I practice everyday.
I am a product of my city, and I love Philly. I am a lot of fun, but I don't play around too much. I'm what some might call "medium ghetto." I am just as much gangster as I am glitter.
I am a divine being, walking around in this chosen avatar. I am a black femme (I do not identify with female/male ideas) who loves people no matter what they look like. I am a divine manifestation of the Creator who made me.
I am a huge nerd and serial-reader. Video games are one of my favorite ways to relax and I'm just as good with healing people as I am with fixing computers. Yes I still play Minecraft because it's a meditative activity to build.
I am pursuing my degrees in English (Creative Writing) and Religious Studies. Currently taking a gap year because the Universe was telling me I needed a break.
I am actively healing not just myself, but the tribe that I am cultivating around me. The ancestral wounds left on my family will be healed through me. I am creating a circle of leaders around me.
The More we know ourselves, the easier it is to get to know others
Exploring The Archetype
((Carl Jung believed there are archetypes in nature, universal patterns that reoccur over and over again throughout the course of time. Each of us has different archetypes because we are exposed to different things as we grow up and therefore different patterns are actualized.
I've been into archetypes since all the way back in middle school, through all the quiz websites that had been an odd thing at the time. Anything from Astrology Signs to Harry Potter Houses, sign me tf up.
I'm a Sun Aquarius, Moon Pisces, & Rising Scorpio (with an Aquarius Stellium)
My Myers-Briggs is ENFP
I'm equal parts Chaotic-Good & Chaotic-Evil
My Human Design is a Generator, with a 6/2 Profile and Left Angle Cross of Distraction
My Hogwarts House is Slytherin. My patronus is a Kingfisher. My wand is Beech Wood with a Phoenix Feather Core 9 3/4". (Yeah I know I'm nerdy)
I believe archetypes are an important part of the work I do spiritually, and is a beneficial tool in understanding those around me.